How Attachment Parenting Found Us
Posted by Skylar Spring
We didn’t choos Attachment Parenting; it chose us. Finding out I was pregnant was a shock, even though it was something I really wanted. I had all these ideas of what being a parent was going to be like and what kind of parent I was going to be. Most of my ideas were based on how I was brought up and my sister’s style of parenting. I didn’t do much research on parenting, though if you asked me about pregnancy I was like an encyclopedia (or at least I thought I was until I learned about GMOs, Natural Remedies, Traditional Nutrition, etc.). I wish I’d known all that I know now, but I was yound and only knew what I’d witnessed and was told by my family.
When Drake was born, I researched child development constantly, but much like my pregnancy research, it was all from mainstream outlets. I didn’t start looking at alternative sources until Drake was about eight months old, when he decided he didn’t want to sleep in his crib anymore. We begna co-sleeping, which no one I knew recommended. About a month into it, a friend and I got into an argument. She had a son a little younger than Drake and she strongly opposed co-sleeping. I felt as though she was judging or criticizing my parenting. At the time I didn’t know that mom competition was a common occurance for some strange reason. Angry at being judged, I began to research bed-sharing, just to prove that my decision was a smart and safe decision. I wanted to prove that I was a good mom. I know now, that I shouldn’t have played into the whole thing, but I don’t regret it because if this hadn’t occured I wouldn’t have learned about attachment parenting.
My co-sleeping research led me to several communities on facebook. I met other moms who shared my views on parenting. They pointed me to The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It took me a while to purchase it. I continued researching online. Eventually I realized much of what my husband and I were doing fell under this style of parenting already. When Drake was around 13 months old, I finally bought the book. It meducated me on things I had misconceptions about, like babywaering and it reaffirmed things I already believed in like peaceful and positive discipline, breastfeeding and of course co-sleeping.
We decided to fully commit to attachment parenting and ditch the traditional parenting styles of our family members and friends. Unfortunately it was a littl e too late for the babywearing aspect and breastfeeding was cut short at a monnth and a half because I thought my supply dried up Knowing what I know now, I’m not sure if that was the case or not. I try to do the best I can now and plan to do better in the future.
This style works great for us. Drake is an independent, free spirited kid. He’s confident and smart. Sure he’s curious and mischevious, but he’s not as bad as other toddlers I’ve seen. He’s very polite and respectful. I’d like to think all of that has something to do with attachment parenting. They say we’re never the type of parents we imagine we’d be, but I think Colin and I are exactly the kind of parents we wanted to be.